The LIST

Ola :)

I have just got back from the field outside the condo i'm living in after a failed attempt to get drunk on tequila.

But it was none the less a good time
:D

While taking a nice hot shower i had this idea to blog about criteria or in much simplier words the things we want in our partners or what we are looking for in a partner.
"i believe the perfect match is out there for all of us. And yes, i have a list of things I'm looking for.(Don't you?)"

We all have our long list of the "perfect" guy or girl.

Don't deny it because it's perfectly reasonable to have one. I do have mine and i still hold on to it eventhough the guys i eventually date are the total opposite. This is my list ( and BOY! it is a doozey!)

Firstly, this "person" has to be musically in sync with me. No bullshit shallow songs that i hate.
Secondly, sense of humour is a must.
Thirdly, this guy is spontaneous and rebellious. Yes, i have a thing for dominant guy.
Which leads to the fourth and most important criteria "an ALPHA male".
Fifth is the fact that he has to be nice which from my experience clashes with the whole alpha male bit.
Sixth is the fact and now this is also an important factor to me , to be STRAIGHT FORWARD. I hate the whole i have to guess thing. You tell me what you want cause i as hell won't guess it.
And lastly, well this is not a must but a plus if that person does posses it plays a musical instument, sings or is in a band.

There are people i know who solely stick to their list. And when i ask them when their first relationship was they would either respond "i haven't ever been in one" or some would tell me when but then i ask them why it ended they would mostly respond " because she wasn't what i thought she was". I know that "she wasn't what i thought she was" may mean many things but after elaborating to me what it meant it all concluded to "i thought she was all that i was looking for but turns out she was lacking some quality on the list". So they cut that person off. Some of my friends get disgusted when the person they are seeing or casually dating does something (even if small) off the list.

In my mind i was FUCK the list.
But i am too guilty of being a victim of the list.

I've never threw away a perfectly healthy relationship away because of the list. But there were times where i have not considered dating a perfectly nice datable guy because he had not posses all the qualities in the list.
However, the guys that i have dated or have been casually dating with fell short of somethings on the list.

They didn't last, nor was it a good ending.

Some friends of mine have no list at all. Well, they claim to have none. They go from one relationship to another. Confused, dazed and just plain not knowing what they want. Often, they would ramble on and on about what they don't want. But when asked what they do want. They say they don't know.

This is where having a list is good.

I am not saying that the list is bad. No no no.... I am saying far from that. Nor am i saying that we should all stick to our list.

The list is good as a guideline. Because i'm guessing none of us have a listed a quakity where the person we date needs to be an asshole.... It acts as (how do i put it?) a guide to steer clear frim an "unhealthy" realationship or a thing that we know isn't gonna work out so why waste our time. Rigidly following the list however is totally unhealthy.

All and all it comes to individual differences. Some may like brunettes and some blondes. Some skinny some meaty. It's not all about the looks though. Some may prefer the quiet ones and some with a loud personality. It's all up to us.

"Blind love is foolish love but love that has to be calculated is no love at all"

So i guess i'll end this by saying " i know that when i do find the right one, he won't have every quality on the list.What is important though is that he knows himself - that is what's most important."

much love
Debra